Divorce is a difficult topic. It is emotionally charged and can easily trigger fear and anxiety. This being said, if you and your spouse are considering divorce, having multiple discussions about it will likely follow. One such discussion might be a great opportunity to discuss collaborative divorce. More and more couples are turning to collaborative divorce to avoid costly divorce litigation, time consuming court appearances, and to avoid a process that seems to put the two parties across the tables as enemies. Collaborative divorce allows you and your spouse to work together to reach a mutually agreeable divorce arrangement. Instead of fueling the fire of negative feelings that divorce so often provokes, collaborative divorce works to preserve the positive.
While collaborative divorce is great option for couples to consider for its many benefits, presenting it to your spouse as an option is still a delicate matter. Talking about divorce in general can present a minefield that you need to tip-toe across. Before presenting the collaborative divorce option to your spouse, consider the following:
Take care in choosing when to bring up the topic of collaborative divorce. Divorce is a sensitive subject in the best of times let alone at the end of a tough day or in the midst of a disagreement about something. It would also be a good idea to keep the conversation between you and your spouse. Pick a time when the kids are not around. While your children should know what is going on, the logistics of divorce can be overwhelming to everyone involved and details of the process should be selectively disclosed to children’s sensitivities.
Before presenting collaborative divorce as an option to your spouse, gather information about the process. Seek out information on what collaborative divorce is, the many benefits it provides, and how the general process plays out. Additionally, give your spouse the opportunity to get informed about collaborative divorce. They may not even have heard of it before. When you talk to your spouse about collaborative divorce, consider relaying some of the basics and benefits, but encourage them to look into what the process is all about as well.
There are several important reasons why collaborative divorce is gaining in popularity. The many benefits collaborative divorce provides draws more and more people to the process. It is a transparent approach that is driven by a mutual desire to secure the best interests of all parties involved while minimizing the financial and emotional impact of divorce. Collaborative divorce is much less expensive than litigating the case in court. It allows you to avoid trial, the expensive trial prep and discovery process, and the seemingly never-ending court appearances.
If you and your spouse have children together, focus on the benefits collaborative divorce can have for your kids and for your co-parenting relationship. Having children together means that you and your spouse will be in each other’s lives long after the divorce has been finalized. Collaborative divorce reduces the combative nature that all too often permeates litigating divorces. It preserves any semblance of a positive attitude you have about your spouse, allowing for a more positive co-parenting relationship to thrive after divorce. This benefits both of you as positive co-parenting will be less stressful on both of you. It will also be invaluable to your children. Children will easily feel the negative energy between parents who cannot find solid co-parenting ground after divorce and they often needlessly suffer because of it. Your child will see the two of you working together as parents after divorce and will reap the benefits of this.
Successfully navigating a discussion about this sensitive topic is possible and the potential benefits far outweigh any lingering discomfort. Take these tips under consideration and talk to your spouse about collaborative divorce.
Divorce is a major life change and can shake you to your very foundation. It does not, however, have to leave a trail of devastation and destruction in its path. For too long divorce has been associated with spouses becoming adversaries, for drawn-out court battles and drained finances. It does not have to be this way and collaborative divorce has evolved as a way to avoid all of this. Go through a divorce where you and your spouse work side by side to reach a mutually agreeable divorce arrangement that considers the best interests of both of you and your unique family dynamics. Twin Cities divorce profession Kimberly Miller has been a strong advocate of collaborative divorce and its many benefits. She represents clients going through the collaborative divorce process because she has seen the success it brings time and again.