While no divorce is exactly the same as any other, there are some universal truths. When you are in the midst of such an emotionally exhausting situation, you may feel as if you are doing everything wrong. The good news is that there is no right way to divorce, because each couple is different. There are, however, mistakes that are made by many parties to a divorce.
Here are five to avoid:
Not considering a collaborative divorce. While litigation may be the first thing people consider when deciding to divorce, it is important to recognize that there are other options available to you. Even if both parties in the divorce want nothing but for the marriage to end, it is important to remember that your situation is as unique as your marriage was. A collaborative divorce may work best for you and your spouse. It will allow you to work together to determine how the marriage will end, how your assets will be divided and how child custody will be decided. This type of dissolution isn't solely for couples who are parting amicably and have little to divide; many couples work with each other collaboratively during a divorce so that they make the decisions as to how to settle property and custody issues. A professional, experienced Minneapolis collaborative divorce attorney will be able to work with you to ensure that you get the best results possible. An experienced attorney will help you make decisions in your own best interest.
Having unreasonable expectations. You will not be the winner of every issue. While this may seem unfair, you should realize that it benefits both parties to work collaboratively. This means that you will be working toward a cumulative positive resolution to your situation, even though you may not be happy with every decision that is made. You may not be completely satisfied with the result of a negotiation, but you need to realize that your divorce is a process and not every situation is going to go your way. It is important to look at the bigger picture and work toward a resolution together so that you don't fall into the trap of seeing every decision as a battle. By listening to your experienced, knowledgeable Twin Cities divorce attorney, you will be able to get a realistic understanding of how your case could evolve during a collaborative divorce. Your attorney is your best resource; use her wisely.
Allowing your emotions to rule you. A divorce can bring up all manner of emotions – a sense of relief could be immediately be followed by frustration when you feel that things aren't going your way. This is understandable and a part of the process. What you should guard against is allowing anger and frustration to form your opinions and determine your actions. A divorce is a process, a collaborative effort to end a marriage so that both parties feel satisfied with the ultimate outcome. Think of the process as a give-and-take; you will not be able to get what you want in every situation. You may have to give up something that you feel is emotionally valuable or has a sentimental meaning in order to gain something that you will need in order to get by after your divorce.
Not dealing realistically with your finances. Another area to focus on is your finances – both your joint finances and your own. You not only want an equitable division of your joint property [and debt], but you want that division to be as finalized as possible so that you don't have a huge tax bill spring up and surprise you years after your divorce. You should also work with your Twin Cities divorce attorney and spouse collaboratively so that you can determine what will happen if your ex-spouse does not comply with a court order to pay off a joint loan. This failure to pay would mean that the creditors will come after you, and they will not be interested in the result of your divorce judgment. By working collaboratively, your Minneapolis divorce attorney can guide you toward an appropriate resolution. Be sure that your finances are as separate as possible – refinance a joint debt singly, if necessary – so that the end of your marriage means the end of your joint financial partnership. In essence, you want a durable agreement that will continue to protect your personal and financial interests long after the divorce is final.
Avoiding financial planning for your future. Once you have divorced and your finances are well and truly separated, you and your spouse will be responsible for your own financial circumstances for the future. This means that you will need to have a plan in place for every aspect of the rest of your life. Maintenance and child support may factor in your finances. However, you will need to understand how that money will affect your day-to-day living expenses as well as your future plans, including retirement. On the chance that your ex-spouse may not comply with a financial judgment, you should realize that this leaves your financial situation in your hands. It is important that you look at it clearly so that you can move forward.